Mental, Emotional, And Spiritual Breakdown

Everyone who has had a breakdown of some sort is not weak, crazy, or dangerously unstable.

A breakdown is spiritual within many instances. A Yoruba priestess even acknowledged this fact to me years ago. I know firsthand as my own mother was a victim of brujeria in the early 1980’s.

I was even targeted. My aunt tried to flip me out when I was eighteen years of age by putting the hallucinogenic drug mescaline into a hot pot of black eyed peas that I had cooking over the stove.

People often use recreational “trip” drugs to increase the chance or enhance the effect of mental and chemical alterations of the brain while also performing the negative spiritual influences within black magic/voodoo/witchcraft.

My aunt went a step further in her malicious attempt by also putting tainted hiv fluids inside my food. Anyone educated would know the disease would not survive within the air and within a pot of scalding hot water.

Nevertheless, I didn’t lose my head or have a breakdown, my mind was too strong with faculty and awareness, and I didn’t, of course, become infected with aids either.

I was young, innocent, and very spiritually inclined, so divine intervention took over and protected me.

My aunt Tina (Ernestine Lawrence) has been hiv positive since the 1980’s due to intravenous drug use and promiscuous behavior from the 1970’s on up and instead of using her limited time to spend changing her life around for the better, she continued to do tons of constant dirt. She and other envious and jealous ruthless dummies, whores, drug addicts, and degenerates attacked me and other family for decades.

They’ve in addition done it to others, however, when they came after my mother and I, they messed with the wrong individuals. We are people of the light and they are people of the darkness. My ancestors and orishas were ready for them all, and the universe was recording and keeping record of every notorious deed in which was repeatedly done toward us.

Tina had poisoned food of my mother’s years ago too while neighbors were working black magic/voodoo/witchcraft against her.

My grandfather was driven to mental affliction before he was killed and found dead in the Hudson river.

My aunt Charise was drugged and raped which caused her to be afflicted with mental illness.

My grandfather, mother, younger aunt, and I were targeted for manipulative breakdowns because we were all very smart, strong, and fighters who could literally kick ass if needed be. We weren’t the type to back down or be bullied by anyone, and we were all good upstanding people.

The intent for causing mental, emotional, and spiritual breakdowns are to weaken one, to render them as incredible, and to lower their self esteem and spirit.

Certain evildoers want those of us who have knowledge in which threaten their unscrupulous ways either dead or labeled as crazy.

 

 

 

A Nonsexual Caulbearer In A Sexual And Sexist World

I am a person born of the caul who happens to be asexual and that has been disturbing to individuals who are twisted. I just unfortunately in the past had lived and grown up in a neighborhood full of sick and low-minded people in which I was far set apart from within mind and character.

Luckily, I was always able to branch out and come across and meet those of a higher vibration and of versatile range that I could relate to and appreciate all throughout my life as I went different places unbeknownst to the assholes who remained amongst the fellow likes of themselves and who couldn’t go no further.

There were men whose sisters, nieces and daughters had got hurt or dogged out by men and there was nothing to talk about when it came to me.

What was so special about LaToya? Why didn’t she get caught up out there?

This is the absurd way in which these degenerate people thought and we have people like this and who generate within this fashion all over the place.

So these neighborhood people had for years endeavored to calculate an unnatural situation through the use of deceptive black magic along with lies to create a facade of camouflaging negativity toward my life that would coincide with and shadow up the celestial light of my true destiny and fate.

They tried to bring me into their darkness and cover me within a glue of a paint so ugly and stagnant in color. A substance of demonic craft they didn’t ensure for me to vehemently peel away from.

I think at one time adversaries were spreading and also wanted me to believe that I was a whore with diseases, a prostitute, and other off the wall things, I don’t know for sure if I was suppose to be a drug addict too, and I also think that because I wasn’t fazed by this nonsense I was supposed to be either crazy or putting up a front because their conspiracy of fabrications was supposed to be my ultimate truths even though they all knew what they were doing.

They wanted me to appear lower than what they were so everything they had done within their lives they put on me to make themselves feel better and they intended for their lies to follow me for the rest of my life in payback for me not having been in the same category as them as they perceived me as to think that I was better than them.

In spite of all the dirt these people have directed toward me it has not killed my spirit or brought me down.

The words bitch and whore don’t faze me. I’ve never been intimidated or affected by utterances intended to bring down a woman’s confidence or self-esteem. If anything, I was further liberated and elevated in discerning that I was at a higher level of knowledge and spiritual consciousness.

I don’t know how much this would resonate with other Caulbearer’s who had to go through shit or just others who stood out for whatever reasons but when it came to a man and sex people around my old neighborhood really yearned for me to get swallowed up in the same holes they had gotten trapped into.

My father’s sister told my father years ago that “I was too hard for a girl”.

“Really?” I had thought to myself. I didn’t know that as a female I was supposed to be weak or defined as what society projected an acceptable or proper female out to be. All I knew is how to be my true self and I wasn’t changing that for anyone or to meet anyone’s bias standards.

No one can dictate to me how I should be or not be as a genuine female within my own distinct mode of character.

One thing in which really struck me as quite odd and ridiculous is among the particular gutter-rats and certain people on a low-level within mentality and intellect where I grew up around who for some outrageous reason erroneously took for granted and automatically expected me to have had an interest in men, an attraction, or sexual desire, just because most people were wired or designed, or came out to be this way, whereas I never did, never was, and never will, and it came to be an actual subject of silly gossip and idle debate.

Of course, when we’re not like everyone else and don’t exude the same type of behavior as the majority or as average it gets noticed and talked about.

Others who aren’t thoroughly acquainted with us (even those who may have been around us for years) enough make quick assumptions or generalizations about our character taking into presumption that we must have the same needs, wants, mindsets, emotions, shortcomings and/or etc… And these drawn up conclusions are not always the case within many people’s nature and everday lifestyles.

I’ve been told personally by certain others that I’m very unique and that there’s no one out there who is like me. Though I do know there are a variety of distinct individuals within existence who differ greatly as this is a huge world in which we all live in, but for the most part, these people were just acknowledging to me that I was a rare person from their own observation and perception.

A distant relative of mine had even stated to my mother that it wasn’t normal for me to not have any nature (sexual appetite). I strongly disagreed because to me it is not about what is so called normal but it is about what serves as being healthy to one and within one’s own nature and life. The way I am is indeed normal to me, however, to each his or her own.

Why was the fact that I and my vagina didn’t need or want the undesirable pounding of a penis or the attention of any man so interesting and prone to circulating?

So spread out and disappointing to the point where it created hostility and denial on the part of those who for jealous reasons of their own preferred that I innately share the same tendencies and susceptibilities as they did?

I was born with my own individual attributes.

No man can do anything for me mentally or physically and I don’t express this to be harsh but I have to convey because it is the absolute truth. It is important for one to not repress who they really are on account of other people’s judgments due to a lack of knowledge in specific areas on their part.

It is very unhealthy for one to do so.

I don’t know why sex is so important and significant to these people. I don’t understand why they believed or hoped that if I indulged in the sexual act or had a man attempt to degrade me with nonsense talk equivalent to a mediocre mindset in regard to false sexual encounters or the delusion of what they believed to be would actually have any bearing or reflection on me as they gambled so hard on the outcome and for it to follow me within my life as if it was something legitimate.

It’s also sad how sex sells and how sex is promoted the way that it is when in my opinion intercourse itself actually means nothing. I have written many articles and quite a few were editors picks in online publishing and magazines yet it was the article that I wrote about being Asexual that prompted a few publishers to contact me for permission to display them as they thought the write up was “powerful” and beneficial.

I didn’t mind at all it’s just out of all the things I have written about it’s the one regarding not having any interest in sex or men that catches the most attention?

Society is too sex crazed that it clouds their judgment when it comes to those who have no true interest in sexual matters.

 

A Witchcraft Flashback

As I’ve said before all through out my life people have taken turns and worked negativity against me and I’ve always been aware of it.

There was always more than one person on my block involved in the later witchcraft attacks other than the dumb whore bitches (Lizette and Doritta) who lived across the street from me at the time, of course, as it was a neighborhood thing spread about with different sick and jealous people.

There was one neighbor’s house I passed by one morning years ago (2011) where someone in the home snapped a photo of me. I noticed the flash of the camera from the front livingroom picture window. Some time later, one of the occupants who lived in the house (one of the guys who raped my aunt back in the 1980’s by the name of Larry Butler) called out to me as I came home from work. I ignored the asshole.

He was scared. He and others had used satanic rituals in order to break my protection and failed as I and my energy was too strong and powerful. Their rituals backfired and now one of the assholes (who I and him were never on any speaking terms) had called out to me by my name out of fear and desperation.

He had told on himself when he did that. And I had already known everything because I had felt everything they were doing in the process while it was actually happening.

 

 

 

Blocked Witchcraft Attempt

"My Voice" Weblog By Miss LaToya Lawrence

As a child I wasn’t sheltered. I’d seen and heard a lot and encountered numerous types of people and situations while at the same time not being negatively influenced within my own behavior by incorporating undesirable habits or lifestyle choices, yet informed, as I had a mind of my own.

I had firsthand experience without having to personally indulge in order to know and since I was spiritually inclined I was able to clearly discern things that were hidden under the surface and I definitely knew what appealed to me and what turned me off and what I wanted to avoid as I grew up in life.

One of my strongest points is my excellent communication skills and comprehension. What I lack though is a sympathetic nature toward people and the world in general. I do love the hell out of puppies and dogs, though, they just steal my heart…

View original post 527 more words

“Think Of Me Spells” Black Magic Manipulation

I’m grateful for the way I am and for the way in which I truly think. I love my strong and deciphering mind.

There was a recent attempt in which included a spell to be placed upon me this past week and I cannot for the life of me understand why as the desired results will never come to be.

It has been done over and over by and about this same male before off and on and I am sick and tired of this nonsense.

As a very spiritually inclined individual with strong empathic capacity I will always feel and discern occurrences.

The spell was being conducted for me to become attracted to this guy and to like him and then as I was not at all receptive to the manipulation it was induced to try to get me to love or to fall in love with this person a ridiculous circumstance that is impossible for me to do and one that I’ve absolutely never believed in as in my opinion a man is nothing to fall in love with.

I’ve never been genuinely attracted to any man I’ve never had any amorous feelings or desires for any man and proudly I never will and there is not enough black or white magic within the world or beyond that can ever incite me to do so.

For me, as a real woman with a competent mind, to be with a man is and would be so very absurd, undesirable, and unnatural.

I sincerely love myself and I definitely love who I am as I am secure, confident, and complete within myself and I constantly have been, and it is such an insult to my very well being, character, and state of existence to the very mere thought of any essence attempting to pair me with a man.

It’s bad and sick enough that God created life in that way to begin with yet it is a thing in which I was fortunate enough not to be connected to and a thing in which I will never take part in.

It could be a good man and I still wouldn’t desire or want him. Any “lovey-dovey” shit, romantic or “sexual” shit has always turned me off.

And, as ugly as the human penis and testicles are one has got to be crazy to lust after it. This is a very sick world ruled by a sick god.

I was born and blessed with a very special gift of extra sensory perception yet I didn’t ask to come into this world and I’d rather have not been born if god was going to create the world under these dumb unnecessary circumstances. God could have chosen more reasonable elemental factors but instead went for the sick designs of his own very nature to acquire to a so called “human nature” which is so disagreeable to me.

I’m so glad to have the hovering of unconventional and intangible aspects within my true life and mode of living.

 

Brujeria

"My Voice" Weblog By Miss LaToya Lawrence

Lizette Roubert Lizette Roubert

My experiences with brujeria:

With all of the personal information that I have on this subject I could write a book about it. I spoke to a lady over the phone about six or seven years ago who was suppose to be a psychic. I mentioned the word “brujeria”.

“Are you Puerto Rican?” she asked me. I said “no”

“Well then how do you know about brujeria?” she said.

Then I went on about the nganga (cauldron), the paleros (grave robbers), the kiyumba (corpse that is used) then she stopped me. “Alright, alright”, she uttered.

I mean the ignorance in some people. I am an African American with Native American Indian descent. I am spiritual and know that magic (voodoo) first originated in Africa so why wasn’t I suppose to know? Anyway, I don’t know where to begin since this all started when I was at the age…

View original post 1,977 more words

The Power Of Nature


Ever since I was a young child I knew that if there was something that I didn’t want within my life then the situation was not going to work out.

Only the things that I preferred and under the circumstances in which I truly desired would instances turn out favorably and long lasting to my concordance.

I was never the type of female that ever hoped to one day get married and have children. I didn’t initially yearn to be a mother, when the idea later on within young adulthood came into mind to have a child it was with the intention of being a single parent, yet I eventually changed my mind about having a baby altogether and it was the right choice for me.

If I did have a child though it definitely would have been on my own without a man involved in the picture.

I fortunately grew up in a home without my father present and that is the way I liked it as I grew up strong, confident, independent and liberated-not implying that females that are raised in homes with their father’s can’t turn out that way-it was just an advantage that served a great purpose for me.

When I was little I never wished for or thought about having a dad around and when I saw other children that parents were married or together as a couple it was a situation that I didn’t require to be in I was very content and accustomed to my family order with me and my mom.

I wasn’t alone either there were other kids like me whose mothers raised them without a father it was normal to us. I can’t speak on how they actually felt about the matter, however, everything suited me just fine.

My mother never had any problems out of me I was a good child.

One thing I hated though was when guys were attracted to me or interested in me whether their intentions were good or bad I didn’t care, I wasn’t flattered by any of the attention I was genuinely turned off by it.

And it feels so good that I don’t have to go through undesirable and unsavory individuals who use to send to me the annoying invasions of mind transference through voodoo/black magic.

They had been doing it within many ways for many years within different techniques but with the same motives and that was to bring me down to their level.

Whether it was to attempt to lower my self esteem or to get me to have feelings for a man they worked hard at it and failed miserably.

These people were jealous and resentful because I’d never been hurt or dogged out by a man as so many of them had even the guys were envious and jealous of me they all figured if I was in the same predicament as they were I couldn’t or wouldn’t think that I was better than any of them.

They were also jealous and envious of my intelligence and knowledge and where I could go within life if and when the opportunity arose.

They had such a warped sense of mindset that didn’t correspond with mine in the least if they had succeeded in their designs I’d still be the person who I am today with the same mentality no man could ever break me or kill my spirit. I wasn’t built within that fashion.

If I were interested in men I’d be able to get a good man and would only deal with one that was on my level, however, I’m proudly asexual and am fulfilled and complete as a woman and an individual.

Endowed

The light that shines within is a light that never comes to an end.

When we stand strong we never go wrong.

Ignore the unsavory pretend as if they weren’t even there.

There are people who can’t move on as we continue to live our life those certain people who won’t let go.

They have an unhealthy unnatural attachment to us. A unreciprocal connection tied from the lowest depths of hell.

Servants enabled by their master to perform abysmal acts.

They envy the love between others.

In return, they sabotage the most harmonious relationships.

Jealous because they have to go out to obtain a false love.

Miserable because they are not desirable enough to acquire genuine love.

It is an honor, It is truly an honor, It is a great honor to be endowed.